A glimpse at how Jan interprets the world by putting words to experiences and feelings.


Flow forward always, 

If backward, the wolf will have control.


It’s been 83 days since you left this physical realm, 

A day for every year that you existed, 

I sometimes forget, when feeding my mind’s active sustenance, 

That you are here no longer, 

And my heart’s pain returns with quiet a vengeance, 

You visit me in my many recollections of our times together, 

And I miss your passionate inquiry very time we spoke, 

My greatest loss is your advocacy for my life’s direction and pursuit of adventure, 

But your love will always penetrate my longing for your return, 

But in reality, I know you cannot, 

So I will accept your absence with a melancholy grace and resilience.


Descending under, 
Unconscious floating space, 
Arms pull and cradle me upwards, Savior.